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Me, Michael & Conrad Murray

9/28/2011

Michael Jackson (L) & Conrad Murray (R)

Ok, I’m going to try to make this quick and get straight to the point. As many of you may know, in the days after pop-star Michael Jackson’s death in 2009, the powerful anesthetic drug propofol was found in his system and his advising doctor at the time, Conrad Murray, reportedly administered the drug and multiple others the day of Jackson’s death. Charged with involuntary manslaughter, Murray‘s trial is now underway (today was the second day of the court proceedings.) Murray’s defense team is making the argument that the final, lethal dose of propofol was administered by Jackson himself, and Murray is not to blame for the death. The media have of course had a field day with this trial, sensationalizing the grief of the Jackson family and the entertainer’s fans, shaping Murray out to be a murderous figure with ulterior motives and influencing the court of public opinion. If not alluded to as vindictive and murderous, Murray is accused of being a suicide assistant or someone hired to cover up an addiction. Supporters of the doctor have taken to news media in his defense, proclaiming that he is a proficient physician with a kind heart.

Although owning this blog makes me a part of the media, I am only concerned with the facts and evidence presented (and NOT presented) in this trial and plan to make a CLEAR distinction between verifiable facts and my PERSONAL opinion. My OPINION is… this trial is not about whether or not Conrad Murray is Dr. Evil, Dr. Good-doer, or something in between. This trial is also not about defining if Michael Jackson is a drug addict. What this trial IS about is deciding if Conrad Murray executed the action that subsequently caused Michael Jackson’s death. Let’s stay focused here. If Murray is indeed guilty, I hope that justice will prevail and he will properly sentenced. If he is NOT, again, I hope justice will prevail and he will be set free.

As for how I FEEL (again, my OPINION) about Murray’s defense that Jackson injected himself with propofol, I find that proposition to be absurd. According to news reports, Murray stated he gave Jackson a dose of propofol, went to the bathroom and returned to find Jackson after he had given himself another amount. I doubt that someone who is already in a heavy, drug induced state would be able to properly self-submit propofol. The defense team has the burden of proof.

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Michael Jackson (1958-Forever)

6/25/2010

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It has been one year since Michael Jackson passed away and it seems like no time has passed at all. Here, in his memory, is a tribute that I wrote last year.

June 30, 2009
Losing Michael Jackson hurts in a very unique way, mainly because he is enrichly tied to who and what we are intrinsically and as a culture.

“…A major strand of our cultural DNA has left us. RIP MJ. I think we’ll mourn his loss as well as the loss of ourselves as children listening to Thriller on the record player…” -John Mayer

How is Michael so tied to who we are? Because for anyone who loves Michael, he is the center of so many specific memories and moments in our lives, both past and present. His performances, his videos, his music, his interviews, the historic moments; they’re all earmarks of a specific time and place. Just a glimpse of him automatically jumpstarts a flood of memories, taking you back to when you were a certain age, with a certain someone, feeling a certain way. He is symbol of what we were and are, where we were and are, and what we did and do. Losing him feels like losing every ounce of those memories. A sign of your childhood, a symbol of your existence on this earth is gone. It’s like losing your baby pictures in a fire, or having a family heirloom stolen. Many have said that Michael was like a family member and it felt like you knew him. It’s hard not to feel that way when you don’t recollect a time without him. That’s part of the reason why this moment is so hard to absorb and describe. For many of those who were born after 1968, there was NEVER a moment without Michael. THREE generations don’t know life without Michael. We always had him and he was always there.

“…Way before Oprah Winfrey, way before Barack Obama, Michael did with music what they later did in politics and television…”-Al Sharpton

For the previous generation, this loss especially hurts because they were there to MEET Michael. He was like a peer, a brother. He was their age, and for African-Americans, their color. For the African-American community, seeing Michael on television was like seeing themselves, which had a monumental impact. Hot off the heels of the civil rights movement, while blacks were still largely excluded from mainstream media, Michael was a sign of change. Much like Barack Obama was to the generation that saw him get elected, Michael was a sign that if you dreamed and worked hard enough, you could achieve, despite racial barriers. This little boy and his 5 older brothers gave young people something to hope for and relate to.

"…I would not be the artist, performer, and philanthropist I am today without the influence of Michael...In so many ways he transcended culture. He broke barriers…His legacy is unparalleled. Michael Jackson will never be forgotten." –Usher

Artistically, Michael did with music what should be done with music. Michael was cross-genre, cross-culture, and cross-generational. This was proven in the days after his death, as news footage from around the world showed fans celebrating his life and in mourning, from South America, to Asia, to Europe. Music is supposed to move and unite people, and Michael did exactly that in more ways than one. Literally the WHOLE world had one person common, regardless of culture, race, gender, age and economic class. One person with a musical gift, that cherished the human spirit, penetrated and surpassed ALL of our societal barriers as if they weren’t there. That one person was Michael Jackson; a black man from a poor neighborhood in Gary, Indiana. A man who typically would’ve been shunned based on those demographics, united and was mourned by the world. How remarkable.
Michael did more than just sell records; he touched souls, which is one reason he will be forever adored. You never forget the people that reach your heart and spirit, and for those who benefited from his humanitarian work, change your life.

"This is such a tragic loss and a terrible day. The incomparable Michael Jackson has made a bigger impact on music than any other artist in the history of music. He was magic. He was what we all strive to be…For anyone who has ever seen, felt, or heard his art, we are all honored to have been alive in this generation to experience the magic of Michael Jackson. I love you Michael.” –Beyoncé

Many have said that MJ set an almost unreachable standard for the artists following his impact. That’s probably true, considering no artist has even COME CLOSE to having global influence or breaking his historic records. Perhaps today’s artists are more so beneficiaries of Michael versus successors (clear beneficiaries are the African-American artists who have had their music videos featured on MTV, considering MTV did not show videos by black artists until “Thriller”). Apparently, touching the soul of the world and having cross appeal in every sense of the word is hard to accomplish. The funny thing, however, is that Michael didn’t seem to try that hard. The music just flowed from him. All he used was his natural talent and his desire to make memorable music. It wasn’t about marketing or business politics with Michael; it was about the music and us-the fans (We knew it was about us too; thank you, Michael). That’s how he was able to convey the pain of a broken, grown man on “Who’s Lovin’ You” at age 10, and the commitment of a deep, true love on “Got to Be There” at 14.
Genre-wise, you couldn’t put MJ into one category. Yes, he’s revered as the “King of Pop”, but pop is still short for “popular” music. Part of what made him so “popular” was the fact that he hit every demographic: the “rockers”, the “hip-hoppers”, the “cowboys”, the “pop-tarts”, the “soulsters”; everyone. The R&B of “Remember the Time”, the pop of “Billie Jean”, the rock in “Dirty Diana”, the hip-hop in “Black and White”; there was something for everyone. Something for my 51-year-old mom, who always walks around the house singing “Who’s Lovin’ You.” Something for the boys of Alien Ant Farm who covered “Smooth Criminal.” Something for the 7-year-old I saw in Wal-Mart years ago that knew all the words to songs made years before she was born.Not only did Michael incorporate genre-bending versatility into his music, but the element of a message as well. Yes, MJ had plenty of just fun, danceable songs, but for every “just for fun” song, there was a song with a message. He was always trying to enlighten or inspire us.

Michael had the type of career that most artists can only dream of. A 40-year career in which he was always relevant and his influence could be seen everywhere. Most artists have a “hey-day” or a prime. Michael was never NOT in his prime. Every album was a success (contrary to popular belief, ALL of his albums went, at minimum, platinum). Every performance and tour was eagerly anticipated. Even his Pepsi commercials caused worldwide hysteria. If MJ was on, you were paying attention. Every moment with Michael felt special and surreal. He took you by his glittery-gloved hand to a magical fantasy world that you never wanted to come back from. Michael had the admiration of the world, and yet, never seemed arrogant, selfish or egotistical. Even when he was angry or passionate, he was always soft-spoken. Michael was the backbone of music and gave a new meaning to the word “pop-culture.”He made music history, black history, American history, world history. It hurts, to say the least, that he’s not with us and there are no justifiable words to describe this moment, but I wanted to try.

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The Person You Become When You Die-The Aftermath

5/31/2010

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In my post “The Person You Become When You Die”, which I wrote in November 2009 (check it out), I talked about my issues with grief, particularly with the deaths of singers Aaliyah and Michael Jackson. With Aaliyah, I was briefly consumed with grieving her and eventually avoided anything that reminded me of her. With Michael, I almost let the pain of the loss overshadow and transform the positive memories I had of him. Fast forward 7 months later, I’m in a different, better place. I’ve gotten to a point where I can be reminded of Aaliyah or Michael, and not fall into sadness thinking about their death. I focused on what their siblings, Rashad and Janet, had to say:

“…she is with me; if I allow her to be. I can smile again if I let the memory of her presence on this earth exist as a gift, and not a loss.”- Rashad Haughton, 2001

“You don’t have to hold on to the pain to hold on to the memory.”-Janet Jackson

It took me awhile to really understand and apply their concepts. After years of avoiding any Aaliyah material, I started watching old Aaliyah interviews on YouTube. I couldn’t help but laugh and smile at a lot of it; it reminded me of why I liked her so much. I was thinking “Man, she was hilarious and cool as heck. I remember seeing this and wanting to hang out with her.” With watching anything Michael- related, all of it took me back to a specific childhood memory. I was that 7-year-old kid again who didn’t have a care in the world. It all made feel so warm and happy inside. I know that sounds cheesy, but it’s true. It dawned on me at that point, that because of both of them, I had all these happy memories to go back to that you can’t buy, take away or replace. There’s this safe place in my mind and heart that I can escape to whenever I just want to smile. Yes, I had them and lost them, but if I had to choose between having/losing them vs. never having them at all, I choose having/losing. I feel so grateful to have been a part of the generation that was there when their music was made. As Rashad noted, having them present was such a wonderful gift, and to remember that gift now as only a symbol of loss wouldn’t do them justice. It takes time to get to this point, I think. At the beginning, it’s indescribably hard to NOT focus on the loss. Some people don’t get passed focusing on the loss. But part of the reason why the loss hurts like it does is because of the beautiful things that person gave you. You miss having that. The loss itself will never stop being painful or sad, but you can choose what to focus on. It takes a lot of emotional energy and work, but you CAN choose. I hope this helps someone out there.

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Artists Hating On Other Artists

1/1/2010

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I’ve made it known that I have a disdain for recording artists publicly criticizing other artists (see my 6-29-09 post about Keri Hilson). In a nutshell, I think it’s unprofessional and sad, as ALL recording artists have to deal with the same crappy things that come with being in the industry. They shouldn’t destroy one another. I’m bringing this back up because I recently saw a Michael Jackson interview in which he said the following: “I’ve been an artist most of my life, doing what I do, and I’ve NEVER attacked another artist. Great artists don’t do that. You don’t have to do that.” Enough said.

Critical statements from one artist to another often stem from one of two things: jealousy or the feeling that the art of music is being disrespected. The remedy for jealousy: learn from them, watch what they do and figure out how to do it better. The remedy for preservation of the art: do what you do great 10 times harder. Don’t get distracted honing your craft. The end.

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The Person You Become When You Die

11/30/2009

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So my mother calls me on September 3rd, 2009 to let me know that Michael Jackson was finally buried. I get on MSN’s homepage and there they were: links to photos and video from the burial. With my iPod ironically on depressing music, I browsed through the photos. You could feel the somber mood through every photograph. Everything felt so still. Frozen. Quiet. Pictures of brothers, sisters, friends and children whose slew of happy memories must now always end with this moment. The golden casket, the white flowers, the green “grass” carpet, eulogies, tears and tombstones.

I saw more burial news footage on YouTube. Associated videos were clips of other celebrities who had passed, like the R&B singer and actress, Aaliyah. I hadn’t seen footage of Aaliyah alive in years, and there were several videos of her being interviewed. I watched one interview that was few minutes long and, for those few minutes, I literally forgot she was gone. I got so wrapped up in the interview; just like I would if she was alive and I was seeing it for the first time. She was alluring, witty, sassy, coy, cool, and beautiful; just like I knew her to be before she died and I met the “new version” of Aaliyah: the “version” of her that’s no longer here. Minutes after reacquainting myself with the “old” Aaliyah, I got confronted with “new” one in a hard, cold, icy way. There was footage of someone visiting her burial site. They were completely silent as they walked into the mausoleum and arrived at her gravesite. It’s been 8 years, and I had never seen her gravesite. Pain hit my stomach and I instantly burst into tears. I cried on and off for hours.
I just got her back. It was the 1st time in 8 years that I had seen (or remembered) her out of the context of her death; the 1st time I ever FORGOT she was gone. For a moment she was alive, well and here with us, and seeing that gravesite was like someone ripped her away from me all over again. Like she turned into dust and fell through my fingers. It was a sudden, harsh reminder that she was DEAD. GONE. That interview wasn’t current. All that’s left of her is a marble wall, encased by a golden gate with her name on it, with a bunch of pretty flowers in front. I started to cry even harder as I thought about Michael. I was angry; so upset –I didn’t want to know Michael in “that way.” I didn’t want to know this “new” version of Michael.

The Person You Become When You Die.

Michael was a symbol of something true and special to me: the magic, the wonderment, the innocence and the bright rose-colored glow that was the happier memories of my childhood. Once a symbol of the aforementioned, he was now a symbol of loss, sadness and hurt. He was now one of those “gone” people. One of those people who would now be memorialized every time he’s mentioned or thought about. One of those people who would be featured in a “gone, but not forgotten” painting.

It’s a fascinating thing, the person you become when you die. No matter how eventful and full your life was, all that matters is the fact that you’re gone. You’re a tombstone now. How you died is the most notable or memorable thing you did, or what anybody talks about. Even if people reflect on the highlights of your life, it’s always gotta end with some depressing statement like “they were gone too soon”, “I can’t believe their gone”, “too bad they’re not here anymore, or “where were you when you got the news?”
Perfect example: when I saw “This Is It”, I was on a high. He felt so alive to me. I thought I’d be depressed, but instead I felt uplifted. The movie reminded me of why I love music so much in the 1st place, and why Michael Jackson is the blueprint for how to be a consummate artist and a master of your craft. The Michael I knew- the 1st and only version I ever knew before June 25, 2009-was with me. That “new” version didn’t exist. And just when I got comfortable in my high, my friend says “It’s so sad that talent isn’t here anymore.” There was the reminder.
The 2nd example: I was watching the “Dangerous” tour DVD with my mom, and just as my heart smiled and my eyes glimmered with awe, she says “It’s just hard to believe he’s gone.”

Just as I said before, the sweet memories keep ending with this “new” version of him. It hurts so bad. I don’t want to get to know this “new” version, the person he became when he died. I want to keep my friend Michael just the way he was. I don’t want all my happy memories to turn into reasons why it’s sad he’s gone. I want my memories to stay as reasons why I love him. My friends keep telling me that my memories and everything else can stay as they were, and that a person’s death does not define them. Sometimes this makes me feel better. Other times, I feel like I have no choice but to accept and think about the “new” version. It’s like I don’t have an option. How can I NOT think about their death? If I were reading a book about their life, the book would always end with their death. That’s where it all stops, where it all ends. IT’S NOT FAIR! I don’t want to have to think about this. I don’t want to read that chapter. Why does that even have to be a part of the book? Why do we ever have to die in the 1st place?

To avoid pain and preserve a person’s memory (and their place in my heart) the way it should be, I won’t read that last chapter. I’ll just read the chapter before it and stop. Call it denial if you want. It’s how I’m going to survive this. Oh, but wait. Denial doesn’t work. Denial is what got me crying for hours once I saw Aaliyah’s gravesite to begin with (I avoided ever seeing it, and frankly, avoided thoughts of her as much as possible). You apparently have to “deal” with the death and address it to cope successfully. My problem is that I don’t know HOW to “deal” or “cope” with it in a way that’s “healthy.” Either I’m in stone denial and I avoid thinking of the person altogether (Aaliyah), or I let my grief and the memory of the death overtake my joyous memories (Michael). Grief is even harder when it involves something or someone that has ALWAYS been there. I came out of the womb knowing Michael Jackson. A world without him is an unfamiliar world to me. It’s a world I have a difficult time adapting to because I don’t know how to be here. It doesn’t feel good. It’s a new, different world, with a new, different life. A life that runs the risk of being consumed with grieving him and keeping his memory respectfully and lovingly intact. For a second, my life was consumed with grieving Aaliyah. It was like “How do I go back to the life I had before this? How do you come back from hurting so bad, or losing something that feels so essential to your life?” I don’t like all of these “new” issues. I obviously have a hard time reconciling the 2 versions of people that have passed away. Maybe I shouldn’t be trying to reconcile them at all. Maybe the problem is that I think they become a different person when they die. Does anyone have “healthy” grieving down to a science or have it figured out? Please let me know what your theory is if you do. Maybe I’ll figure out something that works for me as I go through process of grieving Michael. Perhaps when it’s the 8th anniversary of his death (Aaliyah’s was August 25, 2009), I won’t see his gravesite and burst into tears because of denial. Maybe it won’t take me 8 years to look at the gravesite. For now, I’m going to focus on the words of Aaliyah and Michael’s siblings, Rashad and Janet. Rashad and Janet both testified to be extremely close to their siblings; perhaps I’ll find my way to solace by listening to them.

“…she is with me; if I allow her to be. I can smile again if I let the memory of her presence on this earth exist as a gift, and not a loss.”- Rashad Haughton, 2001

“You don’t have to hold on to the pain to hold on to the memory.”-Janet Jackson

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MTV Video Music Awards

9/16/2009

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Amazing show. I’ve always viewed the VMA’s as a more exiting, more hip and more casual Grammy’s, and I look forward to it every year. They’ve had some years that weren’t all that exiting, but this year didn’t fit into that category. This year’s show fit into the “classic VMA” box: exciting, entertaining, memorable, and of course with at least one “OMG! Did that really happen? ” moment. There were several “OMG” moments. Let’s start with the amazing opening: the tribute to Michael Jackson. MTV’s homage to the “King of Pop” was expected at this year’s show and was eagerly anticipated. If anyone NEEDED to do a tribute, it should have been MTV; considering he’s the 1st African-American artist to have his music video on the station and part of the reason why MTV is what it is now. Plus, MTV needed to make up for the lack of tribute programs aired in the days after his death (Yes, there was SOME tribute programming, but many of them were simple, underdeveloped and lackluster).
Giving an emotive and heartfelt speech, Madonna made several thought provoking points that captured the human and intimate essence of Michael that we often either forgot about and/or failed to see (see the post below for her speech in its entirety). When they panned to the audience to show their reactions to the speech, many of the recording artists present were either fixated on Madonna, had their eyes closed, or their heads bowed. Entrenched in every word and moment, it seemed as if the audience was in prayer or reflection. If you’re Michael fan, you were right with them. She ended her speech with the phrase “long live the king”. I was really hoping someone would run with that and start a chant.  Madonna’s speech was followed by a dance team performance of his hit songs. Each dancer was dressed in a replica of a signature M.J. costume. The only thing that would have enhanced the performance more was to have someone who was obviously influenced by M.J. (like Justin Timberlake, Usher or Ne-Yo) be a part of the sequence. The icing on the cake was JANET JACKSON (yes, J.J.) performing “Scream” (the only recorded M.J. and J.J. duet) as the music video played in the background. The choreography was synced perfectly with video. I don’t know about ya’ll, but I was jumpin’ around and screaming to the top of my lungs when Janet came out. It was the ultimate performance and the ultimate tribute, and it seemed like the crowd loved it. It only got sad when it registered that Janet was on the stage by herself without her brother, and we would never see them perform together again.

The rest of the live performances were awesome, including Taylor Swift, Muse, Lady Gaga, The Queen Bee (Beyonce`), Green Day, Pink, Kid Cudi , Jay-Z with Alicia Keys and a special tribute to the late DJ AM.
Taylor’s performance was interesting -it was shot following her through a New York subway and into the street in front of Radio City Music Hall. Several fans won a chance to ride with Taylor on the subway and dance with her in the street for the performance. That’s another thing I love about the VMA’s- they always involve the fans, and give them the best seats (right by the stage). Lady Gaga made me want to check out her album- I didn’t know she could actually sing. It’s hard to get passed her craziness long enough to notice that she can sing. She doesn’t realize that she’s distracting from her own talent. I find it interesting that Lady Gaga is considered to be “cool and different” for her eccentricities, but Michael was called “Wacko Jacko” and weird. Intriguing…......anyhow, on to Beyonce’s performance….Bee Bee, (as I affectionately call her ) NEVER fails to perform well (and believe me, I have seen enough performances to say that with confidence). The only reason why “never” would turn into “almost never” with her VMA appearance is because there were about 3 notes at the beginning that didn’t quite hit right. And she almost tried TOO hard to put the sexy on with one too many body rolls. Sometimes, I think she forgets that she’s Beyonce` and things like “sexy” just come natural to her, requiring no work. Her introduction was cool and creative; she made a tribal-esque remix of the bridge to “Single Ladies”. Looking like a small “Sasha Fierce” army, several dancers eventually joined her on stage to perform the infamous choreography.
Like Beyonce`, Pink is usually impressive live and was even more impressive as she performed “Sober” while being flung around in a trapeze act (believe it. It happened). If you thought THAT would be distracting or keep her from performing well, it didn’t. She sung in full voice and didn’t miss a beat. Now Keri Hilson really has no excuse for her poor live performances (See my June 29th Keri post). The coolest New Yorkers in music, Jay-Z and Alicia Keys, gave an excellent performance of “Empire State of Mind” from Jay-z’s latest album, “The Blueprint 3”. I LOVE THAT SONG! One whiff of that song and you’re gonna wanna pack your bags, put on your Manolo’s, and book lunch with Samantha, Carrie and Bloomberg. I’m leaving tomorrow.  LOL It was a perfect ending to the VMA’S- the best of New York music, in New York, singing about the aura of New York. It was classic. The only glitch in Jay’s performance, if you can call it one, was the random and sudden appearance of rapper and fellow New Yorker Lil’ Mama. Because she’s from New York, I initially suspected that she was supposed to be up there, but there was still a hint of “this wasn’t planned.” And it wasn’t. On NBC’S “Today” with Kathie Lee and Hoda Kotb, Alicia Keys was quoted as saying “We can appreciate her being overwhelmed and inspired, but we would have appreciated it if she would have done it from her seat."
There was another random and obnoxious interruption earlier in the show by Kanye West. Now an infamous and much talked about moment, Kanye interrupted Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech for Best Female Video, denoting that Swift’s fellow nominee, Beyonce`, should have won. “Taylor, I’m happy for you and I’m gonna let you finish, but Beyonce` had one of the best videos of all time” (referring to “Single Ladies”). After his snide remark, West handed the mic back to Swift, shrugged his shoulders and left the stage as he was booed by the audience. The audience showed their support for Swift by chanting her name. Host Russell Brand, who was less obnoxious this year (thank goodness) mentioned that in the spirit of Michael Jackson, we should “love everybody” and that all the nominees were great artists. West has a history of and a reputation for making fuss over award wins and losses, but over his OWN wins and losses. Kanye was being his typical self: rude, immature, arrogant and special edition. One of the things that irritate me the most about Kanye’s act was that he put Beyonce` in the middle of his bull. It’s one issue to act a monkey over your OWN awards, but someone else’s awards too? He called himself “defending” her, and yet he was putting her in the position to have to put out a P.R. fire. He stole Taylor’s moment AND Beyonce`s, as she had to use her moment winning Video of The Year (which better honors it as the pop-culture impacting video it was than Best Female Video, btw) to make up for his mess. RRR!!!! Like Lady Gaga, Kanye doesn’t realize he’s overshadowing his own talent with his chicanery. I’m surprised that he hasn’t matured, considering all that he’s been through with the death of his mother and his dramatic breakup (that he made a whole album about). It’s ridiculous.

On the note of who won and who lost, it appears that this year’s theme was “everybody’s a winner here.” The “heavyweights” of the past year (and therefore the expected winners-Beyonce` and Lady Gaga) won. The “authentic, genre impacting and legitimate” artists (Eminem, T. I. and Green Day) won. Old MTV favorites (Britney Spears) and the unexpected, yet fresh and new (Taylor Swift) won. It was everybody’s party and everybody’s night. No one was left out it seems, which makes for a good award show.
While Britney is still on my breath, I find it interesting that when Brit Brit was most deserving of a VMA (pre-“Blackout”), she never got one. She’s been nominated 26 times total, only winning 4 times. 3 out of her 4 wins were attained last year; her 4th at this year’s show. When she won last year, I felt like that were just giving them away to her as thanks for seeming like she got her crap together and putting out “Circus”. I thought it was a spit in the face because MTV didn’t appreciate Britney and give her just dues until they thought they were going to lose her. Say what you will about her talent and whatever else, but she MADE MTV in the late 90’s and in the early 2000’s. MTV Asia and MTV Europe gave her props from jump, but no, not in America. Why is it that Europe treats our artists (including minority ones) better than we do? If you can’t make it America, start selling your junk in Europe and you’ll be rolling in doe, but that’s besides the point. I digress.
The 2009 MTV Video Music Awards were filled with lots “OMG!”, “sis-boom-pow!” and great performances, making it memorable one. Brava MTV.

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Madonna’s VMA Michael Jackson Tribute Speech

9/15/2009

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(See 9/16 post for full review of the awards show)
Michael Jackson. [Cheers] I have a little bit more to say than that. OK, here we go again. Michael Jackson was born in August 1958. So was I. Michael Jackson grew up in the suburbs of the Midwest. So did I. Michael Jackson had eight brothers and sisters. So do I. When Michael Jackson was six, he became a superstar, and was perhaps the world’s most beloved child. When I was six, my mother died. I think he got the shorter end of the stick. I never had a mother, but he never had a childhood. And when you never get to have something, you become obsessed by it.
I spent my childhood searching for my mother figures. Sometimes I was successful, but how do you recreate your childhood when you are under the magnifying glass of the world?
There is no question that Michael Jackson is one of the greatest talents the world has ever known. That when he sang a song at the ripe old age of eight he could make you feel like an experienced adult was squeezing your heart with his words, that when he moved he had the elegance of Fred Astaire and packed the punch of Muhammad Ali. That his music had an extra layer of inexplicable magic that didn’t just make you want to dance but actually made you believe you could fly, dare to dream, be anything that you wanted to be. Because that is what heroes do and Michael Jackson was a hero.
He performed in soccer stadiums around the world, and sold hundreds of millions of records and dined with prime ministers and presidents. Girls fell in love with him, boys fell in love with him, everyone wanted to dance like him. He seemed otherworldly — but he was a human being.
Like most performers he was shy and plagued with insecurities. I can’t say we were great friends, but in 1991 I decided I wanted to try to get to know him better. I asked him out to dinner, I said “My treat, I’ll drive — just you and me.”
He agreed and showed up to my house without any bodyguards. We drove to the restaurant in my car. It was dark out, but he was still wearing sunglasses.
I said, “Michael, I feel like I’m talking to a limousine. Do you think you can take off your glasses so I can see your eyes?”
Then he tossed the glasses out the window, looked at me with a wink and a smile and said, “Can you see me now? Is that better?”
in that moment, I could see both his vulnerability and his charm. The rest of the dinner, I was hellbent on getting him to eat French fries, drink wine, have dessert and say bad words. Things he never seemed to allow himself to do. Later we went back to my house to watch a movie and sat on the couch like two kids, and somewhere in the middle of the movie, his hand snuck over and held mine.
It felt like he was looking for more of a friend than a romance, and I was happy to oblige. In that moment, he didn’t feel like a superstar. He felt like a human being.
We went out a few more times together, and then for one reason or another we fell out of touch. Then the witch hunt began, and it seemed like one negative story after another was coming out about Michael. I felt his pain, I know what it’s like to walk down the street and feel like the whole world is turned against you. I know what it’s like to feel helpless and unable to defend yourself because the roar of the lynch mob is so loud you feel like your voice can never be heard.
But I had a childhood, and I was allowed to make mistakes and find my own way in the world without the glare of the spotlight.
When I first heard that Michael had died, I was in London, days away from the start of my tour. Michael was going to perform in the same venue as me a week later. All I could think about in this moment was, “I had abandoned him.” That we had abandoned him. That we had allowed this magnificent creature who had once set the world on fire to somehow slip through the cracks. While he was trying to build a family and rebuild his career, we were all passing judgement. Most of us had turned our backs on him. In a desperate attempt to hold onto his memory, I went on the internet to watch old clips of him dancing and singing on TV and on stage and I thought, “my God, he was so unique, so original, so rare, and there will never be anyone like him again. He was a king.”
But he was also a human being, and alas we are all human beings and sometimes we have to lose things before we can appreciate them. I want to end this on a positive note and say that my sons, age nine and four, are obsessed with Michael Jackson. There’s a whole lot of crotch grabbing and moon walking going on in my house. And, it seems like a whole new generation of kids have discovered his genius and are bringing him to life again. I hope that wherever Michael is right now he is smiling about this.
Yes, Michael Jackson was a human being but he was a king. Long live the king.

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The State of Music Today and The 2009 BET Awards

6/29/2009

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The 2009 BET Awards dedicated their entire show to the memory of the King of Pop, Michael Jackson, with tribute performances, special segments and a closing statement by Michael’s youngest sister, Janet. The next morning, many in media and forum were criticizing the show, saying that the tribute was lackluster and insufficient, among other things. I thought that any criticism of their tribute was unwarranted and ridiculous, considering they had to REFORMAT an ENTIRE show in 3 days. Some stations might have cancelled their award show, or just “sprinkled” mentions of Michael in. Brava, BET for of course caring enough to try your hardest and working with what you had to try to do him justice. Not to mention that they showed more tribute programming than MTV did in these last several days following Michael’s untimely death.
Surprisingly enough, the show was not somber. Channeling New Orleans memorial tradition, the mood was upbeat and a tender celebration of the memories Michael left us with. Host Jamie Foxx did an AMAZING job of showing respect to the legacy of Michael, having enough comedic twist that was not satirical of Jackson, but kept people laughing. The mood swiftly changed, however, when Janet Jackson appeared. Seemingly holding back tears, taking breath by breath, Janet gave a brief statement: “My entire family wanted to be here tonight…but it was just too painful, so they elected me to speak with all of you and I’m going to keep it very short. I’d just like to say that to you, Michael is an icon. To us, Michael is family, and he will forever live in all of our hearts. On behalf of my family and myself, thank you for all of your love. Thank you for all of your support. We miss him so much. Thank you so much.” With her father in the audience and a childhood photo of herself and Michael in the background, Janet bravely addressed the audience and the fans watching across the country. When I heard that Michael was gone, one of the 1st things that I thought was “God help this family. Everyone else is in their own grief right now, but nothing we feel compares to what this family is feeling. We lost our star, but there are children without a father, siblings without a brother, and a mother without her baby right now. Who cares what I feel…” I was glad to see Janet somewhat echo that sentiment and reminds us all that Michael, amidst all the magic, was indeed human, with a human family who was really grieving and we all just needed to take a step back for a second and acknowledge that. Following Janet’s speech, and thus closing the show was a piano performance of “I’ll Be There” by Jamie Foxx and Ne-Yo.
There were performances by…..let me see if I can remember…. Ciara, Jay-z, Ne-Yo, Keri Hilson, Maxwell, Beyonce`….Jamie Foxx (of course) …and……..yeah, I’m going to have to check out the performers list to remember the rest, which is telling. I watched this award show with several of my friends and family, and the talent, or lack thereof, started a really interesting conversation about the state of the music industry today. I was making the argument that in current mainstream pop and R&B there are TOO MANY MEDIOCRE artists. Artists that are “just ok”, lack versatility, lack substance, and are talented in only one or two areas instead of many. One of the women in the room said that today’s artists are not “masters of their craft” and you don’t get a sense from them that they are “striving for excellence or growth.” One of the people my age responded to that by saying “well, this person isn’t supposed to be a “singer”, they’re just a dancer.” They’re not supposed to be a GREAT performer.” I sat back in awe of that comment. When in the heck did we just start ACCEPTING this ish?
Throughout the night, they defended poor live performances with statements like “His song DOES lack substance, but it’s not supposed to be deep. I mean, sure, it would be nice if her voice was stronger and his song had a real meaning. I would definitely like it better if we had more strong performers in music, but that’s just how it is right now.”
WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?? This is the music of OUR generation- the music they will DEFINE US by when we’re older. This is the stuff that will go on compilation albums in future decades. If you don’t really like it, and you know it could be better (hence the “better if we had more strong performers”) why are you buying it? The music industry is oversaturated with mediocrity because YOU (the consumer) keep supporting and buying it. Yes, the industry bigwigs and execs are the ones puttin’ the music out, but they’re only putting b.s. music out because people keep buying it.
With statements like “that’s just how it is”, my friends left me with the impression that they feel the market is something they have no influence over. We have more control as consumers than we think. With the recording industry, the power is split down the middle between the consumers and the bigwigs. If we stop buying this B.S. they’ll stop selling it. If we buy only from the Robin Thicke’s, the Alicia Keys’ , the Common’s, The Pink’s, the Paramore’s, the John Mayer’s, or whoever you like, the b.s. will reduce. B.S. will ALWAYS exist, but the key is to REDUCE it. It’s okay to have a Britney Spears type artist here and there, but there are way too many in the room right now. During our parents’ generation, EVERY OTHER artist was a consummate performer. It kinda went something like this: Beatles, then mediocre artist, The Jackson 5, then mediocre artist, Rolling Stones, mediocre artist, Tina Turner, mediocre artist, so forth and so on. Now, it’s like Alicia Keys, 7 mediocre artists, Coldplay, 7 mediocre artists, etc. NOT ACCEPTABLE. I’m encouraging and challenging you guys to care about the art of music (which you claim to care about) long enough to stop supporting the ringtone rap, the fruitless pop, and the soul-less R&B, so we can take back OUR music. I want something to pass on to my children, like my parents passed on Sam Cooke to me.
I’m tired of the b.s.
And don’t tell me to dig up neo-soul, Christian contemporary, or some other alternative genre. I’ve had people suggest that and say “well, you must not want to hear “real” music bad enough then, if you don’t want to get in to neo-soul.” BULL CRAP! Why should I have to change genres? I don’t like neo-soul (at least not all of it). I like pop and R&B (I’m pretty eclectic, but those are the genres I listen to the most) and I want good pop and R&B to listen to! I am determined to have the big wigs listen to me because after all, they don’t have an industry without money and they don’t have money without me (the consumer). It’s time you start catering to me, Clive Davis. TAKE BACK YOUR MUSIC CONSUMERS!

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Me, Michael & Conrad Murray

Michael Jackson (1958-Forever)

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The Person You Become When You Die

MTV Video Music Awards

Madonna’s VMA Michael Jackson Tribute Speech

The State of Music Today and The 2009 BET Awards

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