Well…I was going to post this on January 20th, but not a whole lot happened, so I waited an additional week and…things are still in the same position, so forgive me if this edition of LIPC seems abbreviated. You would think I had plenty to say since a psychopath is now the hospital’s Chief of Staff, an exciting gay love triangle is brewing and Carly (Laura Wright) has been kidnapped and drugged, but as noted in “Why 'General Hospital's' 50th Year is its Least Remarkable,” bombs explode in such a settle fashion in Port Charles, it’s like there wasn’t a bomb at all.
Michael, Carly, Franco & Heather
In this corner of the show, I eagerly waited for 2 things: 1) For Carly to tell Michael (Chad Duell) that she’s dating Franco (Roger Howarth), the man partly responsible for his rape in prison, and 2) For Carly to find out that Franco killed his mother, Heather (Robin Mattson). I was raring to go for these plot-points because I expected a great fallout, but as I have to say too often in my articles, no such thing. Michael’s reaction to ‘Farly’ or ‘Carco,’ or whatever Carly and Franco are called, was good, he was angry, but not angry enough. It didn’t quite go over the hill. There were great lines like “I thought you were smarter than this” and “I’ll make you [Franco] pay for what you did to me,” but I really wanted Michael to nearly renounce Carly. He should feel hurt and betrayed that his mother would desire a man who’s harmed him so and caused irreparable damage. Let’s think about this in the context of real life: its 1 thing to forgive because of the tumor, but to sleep with?! Date?! I’d have so much rage towards my mother! I’d be in tears (in addition to worrying about her safety, which Michael was)! Oh, and why was Kiki there? Why did Carly invite her to such a personal, mother-to-son moment? All she did was make offensive comments that should’ve vexed Michael more, like “You’re not being fair at all” and “He [Franco] saved your life.” Maybe trouble in ‘Miki’s’ paradise as it relates to Franco will arise, as Kiki (Kristen Alderson) lied to Michael about harboring Franco in their apartment to protect him from arrest. As usual, Ava (Maura West) stole a scene that wasn’t even about her when she put Carly in her place just before Michael sat down with his not-so-dutiful mother. I was giggling with delight. I heart Ava. So much.
After Carly’s failed lunch with Michael, she was kidnapped by Heather, who Franco doesn’t know survived his murder attempt. Heather’s goal was to kill Carly and frame Franco for it. I rolled my eyes. Just when I thought Michael and Carly would have this severed relationship (at least temporarily) and Franco would go back to being interesting, that was blown to smithereens and the writers cooked up another story where Franco will likely come out victorious and we’re supposed to feel sorry for him because he’s been victimized. Michael will no longer care who Carly is dating, because he’ll just be glad to have her back. Carly won’t be concerned if Franco still has a taste for the morbid, because she’ll just be glad to be alive. Franco stabbing his mother in the stomach will be looked at as chivalrous! Oh, my knight in shining armor! Michael will end up apologizing to Franco for accusing him of kidnapping. My stomach is turning already. I don’t know how many times I have to say it, but Franco is better as a villain. Will I hate him less? No, but it’s more aggravating to me to watch his forced sanctification! Also, him moping around and gushing over Carly is just plain boring. Another missed beat within this frame? Sonny (Maurice Bernard). Everyone else is frantic with worry that Carly’s dead, but Sonny’s been chill and having sex with Olivia. Lastly, how hard did you laugh when Carly told Michael he’s the “fairest person” she knows? Right, because “fair” people steal their brother’s girlfriends. Yes, I’m still on that.