This experience leads to what I call “hero disillusionment.” If you had a decent relationship with your parents, you viewed them as near-perfect all-knowing heroes with the most appropriate beliefs and standards. The bright and shining image you once had of your parents starts to dim as you come in contact with their human side, more clearly realizing their biases and selfishness. Although you’ve known these people your whole life, you have moments where you look at them and go “who are you?!!” What you learn about their opinions and personality might be shocking, as it may contradict how they’ve raised you. On the opposite end, what you learn can answer long-held questions about your upbringing; resulting in resolve or anger (“They messed me up!”). Ultimately, you will either understand and appreciate your parents more, or come to dislike and break from them. “Hero disillusionment” tends to be more of a challenge for those who live at home or in regular physical contact with their parents because they don’t have the built in space to recover from divergence as those that they live away from home.
Seeing as how I’m still navigating this period of my life, I don’t have any quick solutions or tips. This article serves primarily as a forewarning. What I CAN propose is therapy (if you can access or afford it), if you find yourself in anger or sadness as a result of “hero disillusionment.”Anger and sadness are very powerful, potent emotions that can spiral out of control if they aren’t regulated. Guardian discontentment can seep into other areas of your life that can be hard to notice. That’s my offering.