"What about the plans that you left behind…what about the promise that you made to stay with me ‘till your dying day, said you’d never go away…they’re just things that people say…”-Lady Antebellum
I was listening to Christina Aguilera’s “Back to Basics” album, in which there are few songs inspired by her relationship with then-husband Jordan Bratman, with whom she had a son. Aguilera croons about how negatively different her life would be without him and how he “saves her from herself” and so on. I love the songs, but after I got through singing along and loving them, I thought “Wow. She made some powerful statements and yet, they’re not together anymore.” More than likely, if Aguilera’s current relationship goes well, there will be new odes dedicated.
I honestly wonder how people keep their faith in the existence and/or longevity of romantic love after hearing and giving so many professions. Don’t declarations and professions lose their meaning, power and potency the more you hear or say them? Do they or don’t they? Forgive me if I sound a little jaded or cynical (which I am), but I’m trying to figure out how to wisely operate here. Someone told me they love me. And while I still believe that to be true, they’re not in my life anymore at all. So what am I supposed to do when the next person tells me they love me? Walk on air and feel like I have a partner in crime like I did the 1st time? Shall we remove such declarations from our mouths altogether? Should we reword them? Should we say “I’ll love you until the irreversible or unforgivable happens” instead?
Just to be clear, my ponderings on this topic didn’t start with my broken heart. Prior to, I always thought it was silly for celeb couples to do magazine cover stories about their love as if they couldn’t breakup. Unless they were discussing something specific, such as how they handle long-distance or how one mate battling an illness has impacted their relationship, I thought it was pointless and the couple would feel stupid for parading their relationship around later on. Last summer, when “Nick and Vanessa’s Dream Wedding” aired on TLC, I watched TV personality Vanessa Minnilo giddily prance around in her wedding dress and sing to her new husband Nick Lachey “you get to have this forever.” Earlier in the special she touted to others “I’m going to be Mrs. Lachey.” It felt strange to hear her say all of this. I thought “how can she be so proud and sure? She says ‘I’m going to be Mrs. Lachey’ as if there hasn’t already been a Mrs. Lachey (Nick and songstress Jessica Simpson split in 2005 after 3 years of marriage). People promise before family, friends and God (if they’re Christian), to support, love and protect one another, only to rip each other to shreds, become the one their spouse needs protection from and split years, if not months, later. The divorce rate is through the roof. Granted, few promise forever without the intention of trying to make forever happen, but it just doesn’t. It’s funny how you can build such a life and a history with someone, and with just a few words or actions, it can all go away as quickly as it came. It makes you question your senses and your ability to decipher what’s the truth and what’s a lie; what’s dependable and what’s not. Everything seems so futile afterward. Can’t help but ask are “I love you,”“you make my life better” and all that other stuff just things that people say?
I was listening to Christina Aguilera’s “Back to Basics” album, in which there are few songs inspired by her relationship with then-husband Jordan Bratman, with whom she had a son. Aguilera croons about how negatively different her life would be without him and how he “saves her from herself” and so on. I love the songs, but after I got through singing along and loving them, I thought “Wow. She made some powerful statements and yet, they’re not together anymore.” More than likely, if Aguilera’s current relationship goes well, there will be new odes dedicated.
I honestly wonder how people keep their faith in the existence and/or longevity of romantic love after hearing and giving so many professions. Don’t declarations and professions lose their meaning, power and potency the more you hear or say them? Do they or don’t they? Forgive me if I sound a little jaded or cynical (which I am), but I’m trying to figure out how to wisely operate here. Someone told me they love me. And while I still believe that to be true, they’re not in my life anymore at all. So what am I supposed to do when the next person tells me they love me? Walk on air and feel like I have a partner in crime like I did the 1st time? Shall we remove such declarations from our mouths altogether? Should we reword them? Should we say “I’ll love you until the irreversible or unforgivable happens” instead?
Just to be clear, my ponderings on this topic didn’t start with my broken heart. Prior to, I always thought it was silly for celeb couples to do magazine cover stories about their love as if they couldn’t breakup. Unless they were discussing something specific, such as how they handle long-distance or how one mate battling an illness has impacted their relationship, I thought it was pointless and the couple would feel stupid for parading their relationship around later on. Last summer, when “Nick and Vanessa’s Dream Wedding” aired on TLC, I watched TV personality Vanessa Minnilo giddily prance around in her wedding dress and sing to her new husband Nick Lachey “you get to have this forever.” Earlier in the special she touted to others “I’m going to be Mrs. Lachey.” It felt strange to hear her say all of this. I thought “how can she be so proud and sure? She says ‘I’m going to be Mrs. Lachey’ as if there hasn’t already been a Mrs. Lachey (Nick and songstress Jessica Simpson split in 2005 after 3 years of marriage). People promise before family, friends and God (if they’re Christian), to support, love and protect one another, only to rip each other to shreds, become the one their spouse needs protection from and split years, if not months, later. The divorce rate is through the roof. Granted, few promise forever without the intention of trying to make forever happen, but it just doesn’t. It’s funny how you can build such a life and a history with someone, and with just a few words or actions, it can all go away as quickly as it came. It makes you question your senses and your ability to decipher what’s the truth and what’s a lie; what’s dependable and what’s not. Everything seems so futile afterward. Can’t help but ask are “I love you,”“you make my life better” and all that other stuff just things that people say?
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