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V. Stiviano & Donald Sterling: Sexism at its Best 

5/29/2014

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PictureSterling with alleged girlfriend, Stiviano
I probably don’t need to recap, but just in case you hadn’t heard for some reason, audio recordings of NBA Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling going on a racist tangent leaked in late April. The league took near-immediate action, placing an indefinite, broad-reaching ban on Sterling from NBA-affiliated activities, in addition to a 2.5 million-dollar fine. League Commissioner Adam Silver declared he’d insist that the Board of Governors force a sale of the Clippers. The general public was appalled by Sterling’s statements, but then, a funny thing happened on the way to the game. The media had a peculiar fascination with V. Stiviano, the woman in which Sterling was having his salacious conversation with. He was chastising her for making it apparent that she associates with black people by taking pictures with sports legend Magic Johnson (she herself is black and Mexican). Just as surprising as Sterling’s remarks was Stiviano’s fairly composed-and almost apologetic-tone on the tape. I personally was taken aback by this and found it sad and self-disrespecting that a person of color would surround themselves with someone so racist for any reason, but that wasn’t the primary reaction to her demeanor by the press, nor was there sympathy or concern that Sterling may be verbally abusing or controlling someone in his circle. The interpretation of her composure was instead that she was the one who leaked the tape. I never wondered who released the recording or why, because, who cared? The bigotry of a person in power in an organization full of African-Americans was exposed. Shouldn’t we be applauding the individual(s) who let the proverbial cat out of the bag (or at least be glad that they did it)? Apparently not.

Without any confirmation that Stiviano was behind the tape’s disclosure (not that it actually mattered), she was stalked by the paparazzi and vilified. Dug-up information on her background revealed that she had plastic surgery, a criminal record (which included arrests for petty theft and driving under the influence), several aliases and that Sterling’s wife, Rochelle, was suing Stiviano for the return of property and expensive vehicles purchased for her by Donald. The court documents also detailed that Rochelle was accusing her of being a seducer of wealthy older men (there is almost a 50-year age difference between Stiviano and Donald). From this it was deduced that Stiviano was a scorned snake of a mistress who sought out to record Sterling and sell the damning audio for a quick buck and maybe 15 minutes of fame. Even if this assumption is true to any or all extent, again, who cares? Does it change the fact that Sterling made those comments and is a bigot? I saw one news panel where the entire broadcast of the story was just about Stiviano and the hosts angrily theorized about her “motives.” Aren’t we mad at the racist or nah? Isn’t he the true villain here?

Stiviano began to take interviews and tell her side of the story. One would think the primary questions would be to establish if Sterling had a pattern of discrimination and hate speech, the details of the conversation in mind and what Stiviano may have endured while around him, but it was all about the nature of her relationship with the embattled team-owner. A relationship that, despite Sterling frequently appearing with her at events and games, no one examined, detected or inquired about. No one seemed to notice or care that he possibly had a mistress before. In one of the more disgusting and poor instances of journalism I’ve ever seen, “Entertainment Tonight” correspondent Brooke Anderson repeatedly asked Stiviano if she had sexual relations with Sterling (episode airing on 5/21/14), making sarcastic facial expressions, comments and groans each time Stiviano denied, even saying she didn’t believe Stiviano. When Stiviano became (understandably) perturbed, Anderson accused her of being “combative” and “defensive.” Afterwards, while at the ET panel table, Anderson and the other hosts dissected paparazzi footage of Stiviano, labeling her as attention-seeking for wearing a visor to cover her face from cameras and flaunting herself when she wasn’t wearing head gear. When she asserts herself under Anderson’s berating and aggressive interviewing, she’s “combative,” but her polite greeting and compliments pre-interview were to “butter [Anderson] up.” I directly tweeted Anderson: “How dare you call V. combative when you berated her and continued to repeat questions because you didn’t get the answer you wanted. I thought interviews were to get a person’s perspective, not convince a journalist of their truth.”

Somehow, it’s been more important to discern whether or not V. Stiviano is a “slut” that outed a man for gain, versus the bigger story from whence she came. We claim that Sterling’s mindset is deplorable, yet, we’ve sought to punish and scrutinize the person we believe to have brought it to light. A sin is a sin and a wrong is a wrong, but the media’s irrelevant and unbalanced focus on Stiviano would imply that possibly being a mistress and possibly outing a man is worse than being a racist. Why is this happening? It’s because of sexism. 1) Regardless of gender, infidelity is frowned upon. However, because promiscuity is a more acceptable and expected behavior for men than women, “the other woman” or a woman who cheats is often more heavily ostracized (and for a longer period) than a male in the same position. Indicia of this is how the masculine forms of the word “mistress” (ex. lover, paramour, kept man) are either lesser-known or don’t withhold the same level of insult. Furthermore, there are multiple slurs to call promiscuous women (ex. slut, skank, whore, hoe, tramp, etc.), but hardly any for men. In effect, these words are so closely tied to women, that “man” is used as a pre-fix to apply it to a male (ex. man-whore). 2) Women who challenge or disrupt the gender-hierarchy of control (women are to be in a subordinate role when amongst men) are generally viewed as an enemy of values and/or men. Stiviano recording an incriminating conversation that ultimately took a man out of his station of power makes her deserving of retribution.

Even after giving a far from humble and remorseful interview with Anderson Cooper, Donald Sterling will likely spend the last of his years rather comfortable and manage to get back into business-life. Meanwhile, V. Stiviano will probably struggle to evade her now destroyed image for at least a decade because of a sexist witch-hunt to shield a xenophobe. Sexism at its best. 

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Petraeus, Facebook & Your Job

12/3/2012

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David Petraeus
As most likely know, highly decorated and revered military general and CIA director David Petraeus resigned in early November after his affair with his biographer, Paula Broadwell, was exposed. Petraeus joins the lengthy list of American government officials caught in extramarital scandal, but this time, the response of the media and public was a little different. Usually angry, unforgiving, critical and demanding a resignation from a position of power, crowds seemed to feel sorry for the officer and wished he hadn’t stepped down. Does this mean our morality is deteriorating as a culture or have we become more benevolent and merciful? I think we’re just starting to better evaluate relevancy.

In the years after President Bill Clinton’s 2001 impeachment in which he lied under oath about the details of his own affair, many in media began to question whether the punishment fit the crime. Yes, he broke the law, but media and political analysts were looking at a bigger picture. Some made the argument that our cultural reactions to the transgressions of public figures is so harsh, that it could’ve pushed Clinton to lie to cover it up and we ended up losing a president who stabilized the economy over an issue that only affected his home life. Taking it a step further, imagine the reduction on smear campaigns if we only responded to scandals that correlate with the duty of public office. Politicians might have to actually rely on only politics to get ahead of their opponents, but that’s another issue for another day, I suppose.

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All of these events have us talking about fairness and when a personal indiscretion should cause you to lose your job, consider resignation or be denied a position (by the way, as of this time, it hasn’t been concluded that Petraeus’ affair lead to confidential information being compromised). It’s been widely reported that employers and college admission counselors are now taking advantage of social media and browsing what they can of candidate profiles before making a decision. This is absolute crap to me. I have so many issues with this practice. First, let me say I find a lot of things about the traditional interview process discriminatory and unfair (for example, the over-emphasis on appearance. Not everyone can afford nice dress-wear, but they might be able to do a job well). Assessing a candidate based on their Facebook or Twitter page opens all kinds of doors for discrimination, not to mention it’s an infringement of privacy (are they going to ask for personal diaries or talk to our priests next?). If job-seekers are regularly discriminated against in the traditional process with laws in place, imagine the rate of prejudice when social media is factored in. Who’s to say that an employer won’t disqualify a job-seeker simply because they have opposite political views or over something petty like being a fan of Britney Spears? It might be over an unsavory status or suggestive picture, but how do we formally and fairly define “unsavory” and “suggestive” and how it correlates to the job position? Formal background checks, job references, resumes and interviews should tell you all you need to know about a candidate’s ability to perform a task well. Whether they hit the gay bar last week has nothing to do with it. 

The reality of it is if everyone was denied a job for personal gaffes, no one would have work. My stance is that if one’s missteps or personal choices doesn’t harm anyone or literally damage an establishment or company, they should be able to get and keep a job. Thoughts?

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"50 Shades of Grey" is B.S.

7/12/2012

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The plot of the E.L. James bestseller book '50 Shades of Grey' reinforces harmful stereotypes to men and women.
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Racism & Photo Airbrushing

1/27/2012

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Last week, singer and actress Beyonce` was caught in the middle of yet another controversy about skin-color airbrushing in media when a new promotional photo for her album ‘4’ surfaced (to the left, no pun intended). Suspecting that her complexion was lightened, some journalists and blog readers accused the singer of lacking racial pride and the company who released the photos of racism and bias. The response was similar in the first controversy over a 2008 L’Oreal Feria advertisement. I have much to say about this. First, I don’t feel that the ‘4’ photo was altered, but the issue of skin-lightening in media is a very real issue. Second, if we want to combat racial bias in media, attacking the celebrity in question is not the answer. In most instances, celebs have NO control over the editing of company advertisements and photographs. It makes more sense to hold the BUSINESSES accountable.

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Beyonce's 2008 L'Oreal Feria ad: Racism?
In an effort to make everything appear seamless and perfect, printed photo media uses technology to delete blemishes, cellulite and other perceived flaws. Thighs get thinned, breasts are enlarged and hips get sucked in. Many organizations for women and girls assert public images, especially those in beauty/fashion magazines, set an unrealistic standard of beauty that can lead to insecurity, eating disorders or plastic surgery addiction. Skin-color airbrushing, a sign of racial and cultural bias, can lead to a different set of image issues. In American society, European and/or Caucasian descent dominates; therefore everything in American mainstream is based on Caucasian cultural patterns, values and beliefs. In application to defining attractiveness, it is the same. The features of racial minorities are viewed as less attractive or pale in comparison. Subsequently, models of color are far less used in advertisements (unless they are well-known celebrities like Beyonce`) or their features are altered. Elle Magazine came under fire twice after covers of actresses Gabourey Sidibe and Aishwarya Rai appeared to be lightened. In a February 2008 “Glamour” magazine panel discussion on race and beauty, celebrity makeup-artist Mally Roncal stated “I work with celebrity clients at video shoots and on album covers and I’ve had execs say, ‘Can we just soften the ethnicity a little bit?’” 

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Gabourey Sidibe's lighter 'Elle' cover (2010)
This rejection and devaluing of ethnic features in media can cultivate or influence self-image, self-resentment, cultural denial or cultural identity issues in women of color. In Asian-American culture, eye-slant removal surgery is a hot-button issue as women who seek the surgery are charged with changing a prominent ethnic feature to “look more white.” In the black community, chemical hair processes to straighten naturally curly or thicker tresses are viewed by some as assimilationist. Within both the Latino and black populations, discussions about external and internal favoritism towards lighter-skinned individuals are a regular occurrence. Part of the results of a 2010 CNN study with elementary-school children about racial image perceptions revealed that minority children prefer to have a lighter-complexion and feel adults dislike dark skin.

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A noticeably lighter Aishwarya Rai in 2010.
Beauty products and magazines are designed for and targeted to women, but arguably does them more of a disservice. Products advertised to men display exaggerated and prejudicial attractiveness standards as well, affecting how we all view and evaluate ourselves and each other. Write to offending companies and state your grievances. Protest by spreading the word and withholding your financial support. We have a choice in what our media feeds us. For more information on how to fight negative gender media, visit MissRepresentation.org. 
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Today's Ticking Time-Bomb Youth

9/14/2011

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Demi Lovato's so-called "fat" photo
What the heck is going on with today’s youth?!! It appears that this generation is one of violence, self-destruction and cruelty. There are ticking time-bombs. If you follow pop-culture media, you might have heard how thousands of young people sent attacking personal messages to Disney-affiliated singer/actress Demi Lovato, 19, via the social-networking site, Twitter, telling her she looked “fat” at the 2011 MTV Video Music Awards. What made this attack especially heinous was that Lovato has suffered from an eating disorder. On the same site, Lovato’s pal and fellow Disney alum, Selena Gomez, received death threats from jealous fans of her current boyfriend, pop-star Justin Bieber. Bieber fans also sent violent messages to Esperanza Spalding, the recording artist who won “Best New Artist” over Bieber at the Grammys in February. Threats from today’s pre-teens and teens cannot be taken idly. Over the last 3 years, reports of suicides and deaths resulting from bullying in all forms (physical, mental and cyber) have been constant and rising. Bullying has also been linked to self-injurious behavior and eating disorders. Early sexual behaviors, teen pregnancy and substance abuse remain issues amongst adolescents.

Some might not find the above examples concerning, but I find them alarming because of the nature of the bullying attacks; systematic, violent and deliberate. Their violent endeavors aren’t the only thing that worries me. In the midst of promoting this site, I’ve come in contact with a lot of people between the ages of 13-17. Many of them seem to be in crisis. In one week, I came a across a 13-year-old who was concerned about her boyfriend’s distrust of her after her miscarriage and 2 older teens struggling with self-harm, eating disorders and depression. Collectively, these problems are nothing new under the teen sun. However, they seem to be more intense than before. Parents are typically automatically blamed for negative youth trends, but considering the mass affect, they can’t all be poor parents. I’m not an educator, youth counselor, teen or parental figure, so I have no direct, experiential theories on why these behavioral patterns have developed. Any ideas, folks? 

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Society & Culture on Twitter

8/18/2011

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Here's a recent tweet I posted related to this section: "Productive media is not mass supported, but 'Jersey Shore', displaying ignorance, immaturity & promiscuity, is. *cues spike lee* WAKE UP!" Follow J.Says on twitter; click the icon on the left. :)

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Porn Probs

6/10/2011

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I have a few different reasons of why I don’t care for pornography, but my central beef is that it’s very one sided. Let’s face it; most pornography is designed to attract and entertain men. The issue with this is that if it caters to one audience, what a person is going to view will primarily be from one perspective. Sex is a SHARED experience. It takes two people to have sex and both partners
desire satisfaction, regardless of their gender. That being said, our sexual media should be more inclusive. Men tend to internalize what they see in pornography, and if porn is one sided, they’ll be bringing that one-sided perspective to the bedroom. NO GO. That doesn’t work. Am I the only one that feels this way? To find out what my other (and more graphic) beefs are with porn, hit the “Contact/Info” tab and I’ll gladly email you back and tell you lol.

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A** for Cash

3/23/2011

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Please check out my blog post in the entertainment section, "A** for Cash", which discusses the implication of prostitution in mainstream music. http://jsays.weebly.com/2/post/2011/03/a-and-cash.html
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Sex, Music and Women

12/10/2010

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Please head over to the "Entertainment" section and check out my post "Sex, Music Women" (12-8-10). http://jsays.weebly.com/2/post/2010/12/sex-music-and-women.html
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My Beef with Women's Magazines

8/17/2010

1 Comment

 
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The mind-numbing slush that is Cosmo.
I am a self professed magazine whore. If someone I adore is on the cover, I’m buying it. If there are enough features or articles that look interesting to me, I’ll likely get it. The amount of magazines I have in my home are insane. I never throw them out, no matter how old they are. I look at them as history, a “sign of the times.” As much of a “magazine whore” as I am, I’ve recently developed a beef with a lot of women’s magazines. I noticed that when you look at some of the magazine covers, most of the headlines have something to do with beauty or sex/relationships. I find it agitating that MEDIA MADE FOR US narrows us down to blush and dick. It’s like really? That’s all we are?? Sure, style and relationships are elements in the average woman’s life, and there’s nothing wrong with it being covered in the magazine, but other things should accompany style and relationships. The average woman’s magazine cover has 0-1 headlines about personal growth and development. These same magazines praise certain celebrity women for being strong, smart or groundbreaking, but the overall material they print doesn’t encourage or foster the same characteristics in their readers. It’s contradictory and annoying. Now, there are definitely some great women’s magazines that have the perfect blend of beauty, relationships, life and personal growth; they’re just in the minority. 

There was one particular instance where my beef went into overdrive. In fall of 2008, Beyonce` was getting ready to release her album “I Am…Sasha Fierce” and a film, “Cadillac Records,” in which she was playing music great, Etta James. Beyonce` also had finished filming another movie, “Obsessed.” Despite all of these projects, most of the magazines she covered during that time focused on her nuptials to rapper/entrepreneur Jay-Z earlier that year. One magazine did a 5pg article on her, and spent most of the interview probing her for wedding details. Beyonce` has always been quite private, so the probing was a waste of time in my opinion, but that’s beside the point. Anyhow, one cover read “Beyonce` on playing Etta, her new marriage and baby plans with Jay-Z.” Beyonce` was not pregnant at the time (and isn’t pregnant now as far as I know), so they could have deleted the baby line and mentioned her album. But noooooo……Another read “Beyonce’s world tour!: she much rather be in bed with Jay-Z.” I guess now that she’s married, she’s not a real person anymore. Jay-Z, however still is. When Jay-z graced men’s magazine covers in the fall of 2009 to promote his latest project the “Blueprint 3,” the headlines were quite different: “The personal success issue: insights and advice on making it now from Tommy Hilfiger and Jay-Z.” 
“Now 14 albums deep, with over 30 million records sold, plus rocawear, roc nation, fragrances, the nets, 40/40 and Beyonce`, is Jay-Z bigger than hip-hop?” 
“Jay-Z: Music Mogul”

Notice how Beyonce` was only mentioned in one headline, and at the end at that. With the exception of magazines like Maxim and FHM, most men’s magazines feature multiple cover headlines in regard to music, movies, politics, money/business, style, sports and leisure IN ADDITION to headlines about women. Who would’ve thought that men’s magazines would be more multi-dimensional than women’s? Ladies, make sure you’re absorbing some more productive material outside of magazines, and if you DO pick up a mag, pick one that’s more well-rounded.

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    Society/Culture

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