"Uh-oh" would have a new meaning for Beyonce`
By Eddie J., contributing writer
When you’re at the top of your game with few blemishes or scandals, people start to wait for you to slip up. It’s clear that’s the case with Beyonce`, considering the ridiculous frenzy her singing on top of a track at President Obama’s 2nd inauguration caused. Despite that so-called “blunder,” Beyonce` is about to begin a sold-out tour without a new album out. Here are 5 things Beyonce` would have to do if she really wanted to flush her career down her gold and marble toilet. This list started out as satirical, but when you think it about it, it could really apply.
#5 Release an Album of "Bow Down"-esque Music
In light of the new sampler, hype has surrounded the "King B's" name as promo for her upcoming album continues. Although some of the Bees are living, I honestly don't think any fan of hers could endure an entire album or concert of Rihanna-styled club anthems. We know she's gonna have ballads and blah blah blah, but if every other track consisted of something as ratchet as the teaser, people would live for a week, only to live in the glory days of "4" the following week later. But this would only be the beginning of the end. After she releases an album of crappy hood anthems, Beyonce` would have to...
#4 Start Having "Accidental" Body Exposure
Nipple slips on Good Morning America, naked pictures or videos of her and Jay-Z conceiving their next child Red Oak, hell, even Instagram bathroom pictures of her mooning the world would start to build icing on the cake, cake, cake, cake. The snowball would only get bigger, not because we view her as an innocent virgin who gave immaculate birth to Blue Ivy in a lowly Texas manger, but because legends who didn't become such by being trashy don't usually mix well with audiences when their trashiness ensues. Sure, Madonna can flash audiences while on stage, but that's because she's been doing that since she started. Beyonce` couldn't afford to cross over into the depths of "MediaTakeOut chic" as a mother and icon in the making at age 31. Especially since she's now managing herself; without a Mathew Knowles (AKA "Knowl-ivia Pope") figure in her corner, it would probably be impossible for her to turn that into a PR positive. I mean think about it, if someone like Celine Dion accidentally exposed themselves in pictures or onstage, do you think all would be forgiven? Case in point, Janet Jackson. Looking at her album sales after her Superbowl “Nipplegate” in 2004, it appears the answer is no. So now that the queen has lost her “good” image appeal, the next thing to do is...
Seriously Beyonce`, WTH?!?
Most people figure out pretty quickly that I LOVE Beyonce`. She is my queen diva of choice. But every now and then, she does something that irritates or perplexes me. Here, I tell what's been buggin me about the Bee lately (with reviews and love for the Queen Bee in between).