There are two kinds of evil people in the world... those who do evil stuff, and those who see evil stuff being done and don't do anything about it.-Janis (Mean Girls, 2004)

Opening an article with a quote from the teen film “Mean Girls” might imply shallowness or juvenileness, but it illustrated my point, so read on before you click away. I had long dinner with a friend in which we discussed a little bit of everything: race relations, politics, gender roles, music and life events in general. I couldn’t help but notice that after every topic, she said something to the effect of “I don’t know why you care so much.” Towards the end of the dinner she said “I think you stress out too much about things that don’t affect you directly.” To give a more specific instance, when were discussing gender roles she said “Who cares if there are couple of super-traditional men with sexist views? You just don’t marry that guy and you’ll be fine.” Considering sexism can affect how women are viewed & treated personally and institutionally, yeah, I should care. Even if sexism doesn’t blatantly damage my life specifically, I should care about how other women are treated simply because I too am a woman.

I’ve come across a lot of people with a similar approach as my friend to societal issues, and I just don’t get it. Maybe it’s because I’m very touchy about human suffering or that I came out of a counseling program that encouraged social awareness, sensitivity and advocacy, but it’s not in me to have a “not in my backyard” attitude. Just because something isn’t overtly impacting me, doesn’t mean it’s unimportant or that it will never get around to impacting me. Many young people have that attitude when it comes to politics. Even though they’re old enough to vote, they don’t participate in the process because the political issues don’t seem to affect them currently. They’re not thinking about it, but one president’s decisions can affect the country’s well-being for years to come, eventually affecting their livelihood as they get older.  In my opinion, a selfish “not in my backyard” attitude is part of the reason why our society is so jacked up and social injustice continues to exist. When you advocate for someone else, you advocate for yourself because it could easily be you that’s getting the short end of the stick. Furthermore, if you ever do hit an obstacle, you’re going to wish someone gave a darn to stand up for or help you. Anytime you turn a blind-eye to injustice or inequality, you ARE potentially responsible for human suffering. It IS your problem. We are all humans. What goes around comes around. Realize and embrace the power of the energy you put out (or don’t put out) into the world. It’s the ripple effect at its best. Below is a video about a social issue that many turn a blind-eye to. Watch the effect of blindness. What if YOU or someone you loved were the young man in this clip?

Just last week, I wrote an article about how some people use social media, like Twitter, to bully and be cruel to others (http://bit.ly/usEAjA).  Last week, I saw someone tweet “Happy Birthday @Ciara; you’re still a flop, though.” By putting “@Ciara,” this person intended for the R&B singer, Ciara, to see their condescending message. Appalled yet again by intentional malice and hoping to encourage at least one person to be kinder, I responded “That was mean and I hope Ciara doesn’t see this. If someone did that to Beyonce` (the person was a fan of hers), you’d be livid.” Nonchalantly, the person said “You mad? Oh.” I said “YES, because people do the EXACT same thing to her (Beyonce`). Unnecessary negativity is the reason why people abuse drugs and commit suicide.” With yet another unremorseful reply, I said “Clinging on to negativity. You don’t even care that your actions could hurt someone’s feelings.” They then said “I don’t. But you can stay pressed as I block your bitch ass.”

This exchange just further fueled a belief that I have. I believe that human beings are 70% selfish/evil and 30% selfless/good. From the beginning, our automatic response as humans is not to be selfless/good; it’s the opposite. Small children: you have to TEACH them to share. They don’t do that on their own. If you believe in the biblical story of Adam & Eve, they could’ve easily just followed the rules and not eat the forbidden fruit, but guess what…they did. And it didn’t take much for the good ole’ serpent to convince Eve to bite, either. People always say that it’s hard to do the right thing all the time. Why is it so hard? If we were more good than we are evil, then doing “the right thing” would be a piece of cake. We spend thousands of dollars trying to regulate and control man’s evil with laws, law enforcement and court systems, but laws don’t cease man’s incessant evil nature and law enforcement systems are corrupt within themselves. Daily I see examples, like the Twitter story, where people go out of their way to mean and negative. My friend, whose homosexual, sees hateful comments on his YouTube wall on a regular basis. It’s one thing for someone to take issue with homosexuality and another to tell someone they should be beaten, castrated and shot by a firing squad; especially when you didn’t have to comment at all.

One might say “Well, what about all the do-gooders, philanthropists and humanitarians?” These people contribute positively to society in part because of their potential for good (which is 30% in my theory), but their efforts are centrally the result of selfish motives. There is no such thing as altruism. Mother Teresa, a catholic nun famously known for her humanitarian work with the ailing and homeless, ministered to those people because she felt it was her duty as a heaven-seeking servant to God. John Walsh, the host of “America’s Most Wanted,” stated that he became an anti-crime activist after his son was murdered. If not for the loss of his child, would he have been involved with “AMW,” which assisted in the arrest of 1,000 criminals? Both Mother Teresa and John Walsh had something to gain with their “selfless” efforts. Like Walsh, most advocates and activists are motivated by their personal connection to those they support, or there’s something in their background that lead them to their activism. Beyond that, simple good-doing, such as letting someone know they’ve dropped $20, is done because it makes us feel like we’re kind, productive citizens and, in public, it’s more socially acceptable to do nice things.  Even my attempt to reform that mean Twitter user was based in selfishness. I hate it when people do similar things to Beyonce` and despise the concept of bullying in general because I was bullied. I might not have cared about mean tweets, otherwise. As for what we give emotionally and tangibly to our loved ones, we only give because we expect reciprocation in exchange-or else we wouldn’t distance ourselves from those who don’t return the favor. There’s also no such thing as unconditional love, but that’s another post for another day.  So kids, the moral to my story is that when comes time to choose between right and wrong, we choose wrong. If we choose right, we have an ulterior motive. That’s just my theory. Not gospel. What do you think?