When opposing homosexuality, some in the Christian faith use rather extreme and contemptuous tactics. Use of these tactics have resulted in a deep, ferocious social divide, violence, a negative stigmatization of Christians and the spread of stereotypes about the LGBT community (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender). For some of those who believe that homosexuality is a sin denounced by God, they think they’re supposed to angrily attack the concept, when the bible teaches of no such approach. The following article was written by Lasheena Allgood, contributing writer.

There are a lot of opinions and beliefs that are colliding in today’s society. As a true Christian, you want to be able to stand up for what you believe the Bible says in order to please God and show His love to the world. Some have success at living this out, while others display a self-righteous judgment, often accompanied by ignorance.  Jesus gave us two things to live by: love God and love your neighbor as yourself (Mark 12:30-32). In Paul’s 2nd letter to Timothy, he instructs us to “Keep reminding God’s people of these things…Warn them before God against quarreling about words; it is of no value and only ruins those who listen. Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly (2 Timothy 2:14-16)”.

We find ourselves “boldly” standing for what we “heard” is right, when we haven’t studied what the Bible has to say on a topic, nor have we studied how to approach people. We waste a lot of time arguing. 2 Timothy 2:23-25 reads, “Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome, but must be kind to everyone and able to teach, not resentful. Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth…”

A lot of people think that showing love and compassion towards someone with another sexual preference would mean that they’re compromising their own personal beliefs on the issue and agreeing with the person. There is a big difference between compromise and peaceful tolerance. As the passage in 2 Timothy illustrated, you can let a person know in a loving manner when you believe something is wrong without saying you agree with them. Before you confront someone on ANY issue, check your motives. Check your heart. Are you talking to them with the proverbial “picket sign” of judgment waving at their heads, or are you taking time to understand their plight? You should always try to gain understanding of a person’s heart and seek to confront them with God’s love and compassion in mind. If this is an issue you believe will truly put their lives in danger, it would be wrong not to tell them about it. However, confronting them in any sort of judgmental tone without truly seeking that person’s benefit makes your words and actions fruitless and those of a bigot. What is the purpose of standing in opposition to another’s actions or life without your desire to truly help them? It’s a necessary thing to take a stand for what you believe is right. However, the next time you wish to take that stand and confront someone, remember what God has told us about how to approach people with the correct words and motives. God will do the rest.-L.A.

J.Says on the topic: I think part of the reason why some respond so aggressively, and sometimes violently, to homosexuals or homosexuality is because of their own personal disgust, fear or misunderstanding of the concept, NOT because of their faith. In some cases, faith is a tool used to justify behavior versus being the cause of it. Some could be atheists tomorrow and they would STILL behave the same way. Underneath all that doctrine and preaching is a deep hatred for homosexuals that is completely independent of faith and God. What angers me is that they won’t own up to that; spewing their hatred in the name of God and using Him as a scapegoat. Even if you believe it to be true that God does not condone homosexuality, it doesn’t require spiteful comments, harassment, humiliation and violence.

Nowhere in the Bible does God or Jesus designate violence and abhorrence as the proper way to handle those believed to be “sinful.” If it’s really about faith, the focus would be on the religion as a whole and what God can offer an individual. A picket sign would read “Here’s what this faith can do for you” versus “God hates you and doesn’t want you here.” Isn’t the goal to bring people to the faith? Those who act in hatred are defeating their own so-called “purpose.” I was once told that I shouldn’t be friends with those who are LGBT because I am a Christian. How am I supposed to bring others to the faith and show my “Christ-like example” if I’m not acquainted with them? I don’t know where some in the religion get the idea that we can profoundly reach people at an arms-length distance. Besides, Christian or not, I’m going to be friends with ANYONE I find things in common with that will treat me well and deliver as a peer.

On the subject of gay marriage & Christianity, I’m a firm believer in separation of church and state. This country is religiously diverse and to design laws based on ANY faith would alienate, disregard and disrespect those outside of said religion. Additionally, I think we have to be careful about what socially we allow the government to deem illegal. Not long ago, interracial marriage was illegal. If we give our legislators that kind of power, anyone they consider socially inappropriate, for any reason, could be at their feet. *drops the mic*

Everyone complains about their dating life and their lack of viable options, but the people that have it the hardest, I believe, are bisexual men. Some gay men turn them down because of the stereotype that bisexual people cannot be monogamous. Heterosexual women reject them for a bevy a reasons that all go back to sexual orientation bias and gender paradigms. It angers me how prejudiced people are towards these men, especially considering the root of their conceptions. Here are the most common reasons I’ve read (and heard) from straight women as to why they won’t date a bisexual man.

"The fact that the man has been with another man at any point is gross." 
This statement clearly points to sexual orientation bias. The usual precursor to this sentence is “I don’t have a problem with gay people but…” or “That’s fine for them, but for me…” Why else would you find it “gross” if you honestly don’t have a problem with homosexuality?  What’s “gross” about same-sex interaction? Is it the anal sex aspect? For those women who say "yes," I highly doubt they ask every man they date if he has ever had anal sex with another woman. The cooties they’re so afraid of double for the men who have anal and vaginal intercourse with a female partner, which many have. Some come out of one cave, go in another, and back again. I find the “gross” argument especially irritating if it’s coming from a woman who’s engaged in casual sex, has had multiple sexual partners, or dates a man who’s had multiple sexual partners. It’s not gross that the man you’re dating has stuck his gun in multiple holsters, or that you’ve been stuck a couple of thousand times yourself, but a bisexual man is gross simply because he’s been with another man? Oh, ok. That’s not contradictory at all.

"I like a ‘manly man.’ A guy is a less of a man to me if he’s been with another dude."
Cue traditional gender ideals and more orientation bias. It’s been a long held-belief that all gay and bisexual men are effeminate (which isn’t true) and that same-sex interaction is somehow less masculine. Gender ideals come into play as masculinity is partially defined by a commanding presence and sexual prowess/domination. In heterosexual relationships, the man is expected to have a dominant role, while the woman is subordinate. In heterosexual sex, women are automatically in a submissive position as they biologically cannot penetrate and can only be penetrated. Considering those factors, if a man is ever penetrated or allows himself to be, the attitude is that he has taken on a submissive, lesser position and is more like a woman. This attitude is part of the reason why male sexual abuse victims rarely report incidents, particularly if the perpetrator is also male. These victims are made to feel that they are now weak, less-than and automatically homosexual, which is undesirable. Orientation bias is in play as a man’s value is reduced just because of same-sex relations.

""It’s bad enough to have to watch other women; I don’t want to have to watch men too. There’s too much competition when dating a bisexual man."
Your competition rate is the same. Logically, you’re thinking if you date a straight man, you only have to watch half the room, but imagine if most of the room was female. It’s just like if your man worked at an office with mostly women. Whether your man is straight or bisexual, anyone at anytime can vie for him. It doesn’t matter how many men or women are attracted to him. What matters is if he gives into them or not. If he wants to cheat, he’s going to cheat, no matter who you think you’re watching. The likelihood of someone being unfaithful does not increase or decrease based on sexual orientation. Furthermore, you shouldn’t have to “compete” to keep your man’s loyalty in general.

"I’m afraid I’ll get HIV or AIDS."
No matter who you have sex with, you need to be using protection and getting tested regularly. You can contract HIV, AIDS or any other sexually transmitted disease (STD) from ANYONE. Bisexual men are NOT more likely to carry the illness than heterosexual men. That is a MYTH.

"I’m afraid I won’t be able to satisfy a bisexual man in the bedroom."
Bisexual men enjoy sex with women; that’s why they’re bisexual. No need to worry about those who prefer sex with men, because they’re not going to date you. If you’re concerned about his itch for dick, there’s always dildos, strap-ons and other sexual toys. There’s also dating bisexual men who primarily prefer women sexually. In any case, it’s important to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about desires and concerns. You might find that you won’t have any problems at all. On another, semi-related note, it seems that straight men are a lot less concerned about satisfying their bisexual female mates, than women are about bisexual male mates. That’s likely because of gender politics too. Women are born and raised in a culture that fosters insecurity and low confidence, but that’s a different topic for another day.

The PLUSES of dating a bisexual man.
Believe it or not, there are some.

Sexual flexibility.
For the women who like a balance of control in the bedroom or little adventure, a bisexual man might be up their alley. Because of their varied sexual preference with gender, bisexual men have an easier time sharing control and are more open to trying to new things.
Equality.
Due to the amount of gender politics and issues that affect a bisexual man’s dating life, these men are sometimes more sensitive to and understanding of the plight of women and gender-based double standards. Those who seek out a more egalitarian dating or home life might benefit from having a bisexual man as a partner.

Think twice before you turn down a man who offers everything you’re looking for just because he’s bisexual. Analyze why you are reluctant to date a bisexual man. Are those reasons inherently and unfairly prejudiced? The mistreatment and dismissal of bisexual men has led some to conceal their orientation from female partners. Not to condone the dishonesty, because I don’t, but I understand why they would consider it.

In the middle of a conversation, my friend says “you think women are more important than men.” I replied “That’s not true. What makes you say that?” and she responded “I don’t know. I just think you do.” I couldn’t help but think she felt that way because I’m a self-proclaimed feminist. My assumption was later on confirmed. Later on that day, I was reading an article about women who want to jump on the female empowerment bandwagon, but are hesitant because of the negative stigmas and notions surrounding the word “feminist.” Guess I have to write another stigma-busting article.

Game-changing movements are always met with countering adversity because they challenge long-held beliefs and seek to change our way of life. When the feminist movement of the 1960’s started (1960s-1990s is considered the 2nd major wave of the movement), both men and women were uncomfortable with it because feminism protested traditional gender ideals and a relational dynamic they had been used to. Some men felt threatened; women wondered if it wasn’t lady like or improper to step out of the mold placed upon them. Combine uncertainty, fear and traditionalism and you have anger. Many ferociously opposed feminism, claiming that it would be the downfall of our society (because without gender discrimination, we'd surely fall apart) and its supporters were misguided and classless. Feminism was the Grinch that stole gender Christmas. A bevy of other inimical conceptualizations were attached and fast forward to 2012, "feminism" or "feminist" is STILL kind of a bad word. There are multiple false stereotypes about the movement, but here are the main ones that grind my gears. 

Feminists are lesbian baby-killers.
Feminists are often assumed to be lesbians for a number of reasons; chiefly the movement's centralization on women and the belief that feminists are misandrist (misandry: the hated of men and boys) and anti-marriage (both beliefs are false; I'll get to those later). There are many feminist lesbians, but not all lesbians are feminist and vice versa. As a matter of fact, several of the movement’s key figures (such as Gloria Steinem) are heterosexual. Lesbian and women's issues can sometimes overlap, as sexism is a contributor to prejudice against lesbians.

The accusation that feminists are 'baby-killers' stems from the movement's role in supporting the availability of contraception and legalization of abortion. Some view abortion as a moral issue and wonder why it would be considered a gender issue. Obviously, pregnancy and abortion are a part of women’s health concerns and any legislation governing such is worth analyzing, as gender-bias or lack of sensitivity or awareness of the female experience may impact voting. Additionally, conservative or traditional views regarding women and child birth may be an influence. Abortion legalization support doesn’t mean feminists believe abortion should be used as a form of birth control or that women should approach it causally. Legalization is backed because feminists believe women should have the right to choose what happens with their bodies. Furthermore, it’s important to note that not all feminists support abortion legalization. During the 1970’s, there was a pro-life feminist group called Feminists for Life.

Feminists are against marriage and childbirth.
I addressed this myth in a previous article last year. In short, feminists are against the idea that’s it’s a woman’s DUTY to marry and procreate. Feminists are against the idea of a woman’s value being measured by her marital or childbearing status. Feminists are against women being treated like subordinates or property if they do indeed get married. Yes, some feminists are against marriage and others have chosen to remain unmarried, but that, again, isn’t everyone and the movement as a whole isn’t about being anti-nuptial.

Feminism is about eliminating and/or degrading men.
This is hands-down the biggest misconception about feminism, in my opinion. It makes NO SENSE to try to combat prejudice with prejudice. Feminism isn’t about hating, eliminating or devaluing men. It’s about pursuing equality for women and fighting gender-based injustice. We aren’t saying we’re more important than men; we’re saying we’re equally important.  A few of my male friends feel that feminism is about “reducing the power of men.” Why is it a problem if women feel empowered or just as powerful as you? It doesn’t make a man any less strong, powerful or awesome for woman to be strong, powerful and awesome. Also, there may be only a few, but male feminists do exist.  Any man can actively support causes for women.

Feminists are angry and bitter.
Passionate and outspoken, yes. And yeah, people being prejudiced against us based on our gender makes us a little angry. Wouldn’t prejudice against you make you angry? 

Feminism is useless and unimportant.
Women’s history should seriously be included in grade-school curriculum. I feel many of today’s women and men have no idea how far we’ve come in terms of gender quality. For example, until the Equal Credit Opportunity Act of 1974, women couldn’t apply for a credit card unless their father or husband was a co-signer. My parents were in high school then. My parents are older than that act. Until 1978, it was completely legal to deny a woman employment or fire her if she was pregnant. 1980 was the first time that Equal Employment Opportunity Commission established concrete regulations against sexual harassment in workplace. All of these institutional changes were a result of efforts made by the feminist movement. Privileges we take for granted that we haven’t had for long. Thanks to the feminist movement, women have the right to vote in political elections, establishments can now be prosecuted for gender-discrimination, a number of domestic and sexual abuse centers exist, marital rape laws are in place, women have the same access to education as men, employment classifieds are no longer divided by gender and the list goes on and on. Many of the freedoms and opportunities women enjoy today were provided for by feminists, and the movement is not a thing of the past as sexism is still alive and well.